Monday, October 1, 2007

"Sure... we can just be friends"

Being friends with an ex-lover is difficult and usually not practical. This is especially true if your "friendship" or lack thereof, started out "not so plutonic". Is there a way that ex-lovers can be friends with each other when there is no prior firmly established friendship? And, if so, can it be a meaningful, healthy and caring friendship? I say, yea, why not? Instead of killing each other, it’s worth a shot. So, I’ve decided to write out some important "guidelines" or "rules" for being friends with an ex-lover.

The Ex-lover Turned Friend Ground Rules

  1. Both parties must agree on the "decision" to be friends.
  2. There must be no engagement in any sexual activity of any kind.
  3. There must be a mutual agreement that, no matter what, no matter what circumstance, there will be no future chance of sexual activity, even in times of weakness and/ or desire or need.
  4. There must be no discussion of the following topics:
    -sex or anything of a sexual nature
    -current relationships and/ or sexual encounters
    -past sexual relations with each other
    -desires to become involved with each other in any other relationship that is not considered a "plutonic" friendship
  5. Abnormal flirting and sexual innuendoes will not be practiced.
  6. Inappropriate touching is off limits. Non-sexual hugs are acceptable. No kissing or prolonged hugging should be practiced. Friends don’t makeout!
  7. Neither party should see one another nude at anytime.
  8. No cuddling or caressing of any kind.
  9. No sleepovers under any circumstances.
  10. If either party finds themselves "wanting" any other relationship other than plutonic friends, communication must cease between each other.

These are introductory rules of course. Any addendum should be added as needed. And, as always, if the friendship goes awry due to one partner turning psycho, run like hell and don’t look back.

Have a happy plutonic friendship journey!